A woman I knew in university who had a boyfriend but nevertheless found me amusing enough to share an occasional coffee or cocktail with once described our months-long long flirtation as a “mental affair” and shared that while it would never progress to physical for her it provided her with a different flavour romantic energy than the routine and known nature of her long-term relationship.

This is not a sex story confession, we were never physically involved. But I find myself coming back to that construction a lot in my middle age dotage. I am attached and not looking to change that, but I have over the years reconnected on Facebook or whatever digital platform with old flames, but there’s something mournful in revisiting the past. What I miss is the frisson of potential, and perhaps the mental and emotional flexing that comes with exploring boundaries that you can’t cross by mutual agreement.

So I am looking for a lovely lady with intense flirt game and no plans to romp with this or any other foolish Gen Xer. You can be younger, older, attached or not, what I would like is to meet you in a coffee shop or lunch spot of your preference and engage in a mental affair. No one has time to waste, but being in company you enjoy isn’t wasteful if it’s giving you a reminder that you are desirable and interesting to another person.

We’ll probably want to chat a bit on here first so you can reassure yourself that I am not a murder/scam/catfish bot and I am happy to never meet if you are intellectually compelling online. This really is about communion for me, and hopefully for you too.