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When I wake up in the night, I listen, and I can hear my younger self shouting. Why is he being like this? I did well for him - I built the things they said you should build - household, relationship, other humans, career. I looked after his body pretty well, tried to improve his mind. Of course he was always a bit of a dick - passionate and earnest - I recognise this.
When I listen, in the silent part of the night, what I hear him say is: 'you didn't die, but you did dilute' and he's got me there. You become the water on which others float, and the world congratulates your expansiveness and calm stability, but I want my essence back, full strength. A full measure, boiled back down to what it once was. That's what he's telling me.
So it's a plan, and being here is part of it. I want to talk to you about it, see your eyes, even if they are just a digital mosaic. Theorise your presence from the clues that numbers can distill, streaming through the wires.
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