Alright, let’s dive in, let’s get right to it. 

I’ve done this before, I know what works, and I know what doesn’t. And unfortunately 99% of the time it doesn’t work, because either you’re not enough for me or I’m too much for you. Like I’m the girl people just absolutely love to talk to for a few days, and then you realize this isn’t a schtick, the whole vibe and thing I’ve got going on, and it’s all fun and games until you’re like “dang she’s kind of intense all the time eh?” and that’s too much and then we just stop talking and move on. 

I’m a disaster, but I’m a successful disaster. Like a professional, type A, high income, great job, great home, blah blah blah, but really, truly, a disaster. So let’s just get that out of the way now. 

So, if you’re the kind of guy who responds to every post? Don’t bother with me, I’m more trouble than it’s worth. If you’re the kind of guy who gets AI to write your opener? Really do not bother, what an absolute waste of technology. If you’re the sort of guy who thinks you’ll win me over by just agreeing with me? Literally the opposite I'd what I want, I want someone who challenges me. Please. And if I read one more “fluent in sarcasm” written by a man who does not understand what good sarcasm is? (And no that’s not an invitation for an inbox full of “fluent in sarcasm” jokes, be original, come on).

So what am I looking for? I don’t know, devilish charm and good looks? A good sense of humour? Chemistry? Confidence? Really self deprecation is so unattractive. Idk aren’t we all looking for the same shit, someone communicative, attractive, affectionate, and funny? Just be perfect and we won’t have any problems. 

And me? MST, no kids, married, and I’m pretty much where you should expect me to be on the crazy/hot scale.

So let’s get out of this hellhole and make our own, or idk some other cheesy shit like that.