I had an interesting exchange at the coffee shop this morning. I was waiting in line to order, minding my own business. I had a coupon in my hand (because a 58 yo guy won’t buy coffee without a coupon of course). At one point I dropped the coupon. When I bent down to pick it up, the lady behind me let out a noticeable “mmmm”. It wasn’t a “hmmm” or a groan, it was definitely a “mmmm”.

Now I did have my favorite jeans on that I always thought make my butt look good (my own opinion, nobody has ever confirmed that until now). But this was still unfamiliar ground for me. At first I didn’t dare turn around because I didn’t want to seem eager or offended. But eventually enough time passed that I felt I could turn around and see who made the noice (ok, it was only about 10 seconds so maybe I was eager).

Standing behind me was a very attractive lady that couldn’t have been any more than 40. And she was looking right at me and smiling. Being the cool guy I am, of course I had a response ready. I quickly turned around and stared straight ahead. Did I start up a conversation? smile back? Offer to buy her coffee? Nope, none of that. The most I could muster was a quick glance and awkward smile on the way out the door.

I’m pretty sure I’ll never see her again and I’ve been feeling all day that I’m a chicken s*#t. So I guess that’s what brings me here. Apparently at least one other person thinks I’ve still got something going on. Heaven knows it’s been decades since I’ve gotten any confirmation of that from my wife. I’ve wondered for years if I would ever dare have an affair. I’ve always thought I’m still attractive. And I’ve picked up hints from other women over the years that make me feel they think I am too. I guess my ego has been so beat down over the years that I don’t have the nerve to pursue anything with anyone else, fearing another hit to my pride.

Maybe I can try this. Start online chatting. See if I’m someone you are drawn to (and vice versa of course). See where things go from there? What do you think?