Hi there! Firstly thank you for clicking on my post (this assumes someone has haha) in spite of what is probably the most unimaginative posting title used in this sub for a long time. It's funny because as a long time lurker who's taking the plunge today, and who's thought extensively about what to write in this post (an early apology for writing a literal essay below - if you're not a fan of long ones then save yourself now!), I put no time at all into thinking about what the title should be, which is arguably more important, especially in this sub where they're usually so good.

Anyway, I'm rambling before I've even started - let's get going!

My situation: So I guess this is the bit where I'm meant to write all about how I'm actually very happy in most aspects of my marriage, not looking to change my situation or anyone else's blah blah, and I guess in some senses all of that is as true for me as it is for everyone else posting on and visiting these pages, but really, honestly, it can't be wholly the case, and I like everyone else definitely find myself at this stage of my marriage with something missing, that excitement, the thrill of romantic connection, a different perspective on me, different humour, different looks, a different, new relationship, and I feel like I'm still so young (even though I feel so old!) that if I don't try to grasp the potential to do this now I will look back on my life and feel like emotionally and sexually I didn't live it to the full.

Of course I'm aware of how hopelessly selfish that sounds, but my guess is that if you're reading this on some level you probably/definitely feel the same, and what is this place that we are all secretly visiting if not a safe space to be honest about our feelings in a way we can't in the real world. So yes, I am selfish, and greedy, and maybe a 'bad' person for it, but hopefully, fingers crossed, so are you, and we can find each other, maybe reassure each other a bit, and get on with filling that void.

In my situation too there was also a catalyst that happened in the real world (not through Reddit amazingly) a few weeks back - I will spare the graphic details here (available on request for anyone interested haha), but it was 50% of what I needed, in that it was a super exciting but ultimately casual (and slightly hollow) encounter - after thinking about it constantly though since it happened it has been the difference maker in me deciding to put this up today, and see if I can find my 100%.

Me and what I'm looking for: So whilst I might hope that someone here reads my overly wordy, slightly annoy comma heavy writing style and instantly thinks that I'm the one for them, more realistically we will need some level of physical attraction - so I'll dispense with my usual modesty and just say that I think I am attractive, inside and out.

I'm 6ft 1, with lots of dark hair and a good complexion, and I do masses of sport and exercise to keep myself in shape (damn testosterone!) - I have a 'good' job, I love listening and laughing, and consider myself good company. My theory is that really, everyone who's married/attached has to be kind of awesome in their own way, because they found someone who thought it too :)

In terms of what I hope to find I have no set boundaries on age, location (although UK would be great but there are always planes and 'business trips'), or looks, for me this absolutely has to come down to emotional/spiritual, and in general I am always drawn to people who are confident, maybe a bit quirky, but who can laugh at themselves but also at me, as being challenged is hot, and someone who's talkative and interested to reveal themselves but also hear about me - I feel like (if someone has really taken the time to read all of this so far haha) if we do connect we will know within minutes whether the vibe is right or not.

I also want to say, because it's important to me, and from years of reading these posts I always feel like it gets mismatched between men and women on here, that for me I am looking for a connection which is deep, and emotional, and can last, but which is also about sex. This doesn't mean that I'm here to send dick pics, or just talk about sex from minute 1, because that can be found in the real world, and I've had it recently, and it didn't do it for me overall, but equally I am not here to find a pen friend, or just to talk about feelings (even though I do wan to talk about feelings, just not only that) - I'm aware maybe this might rule some out, and that's ok, as I want this fit to be as good as possible from the start if we're both going to take risks, but I really want someone who's sex drive is (or was!) high, and who is here ultimately to indulge that, albeit in the context of a longer lasting, emotional connection.

Right, I hope that all makes sense, and I have written wayyyy too much already - if anyone happens to see this, and thinks hey maybe I'll send that guy a message and see what I happens I would be so happy - I'm already excited at the thought.

Hope to hear from you xx