Oh hi there. Fancy seeing you here. It goes without saying that hanging out on this scandalous excuse for a subreddit on a Saturday night probably isn’t a high point for either of us, but that’s the situation we find ourselves in. So let’s just run with it, shall we?

Obviously we’re here looking for something more. Beyond just a dead bedroom bandaid or a quick thrill ride that fizzles. Whether that be someone to flirt with over our morning coffee, or share our deepest, darkest secrets, or something I haven’t even considered. We can figure that out as we go.

So of all the random posts on this godforsaken place, why should you respond to mine? Well, as the title says, I’m 42, married with awesome kids that claim to be mine though I’m fairly sure they were delivered by Satan or Santa or something. I have a penchant for sass and delivering herb-inspired diatribes about absolutely nothing. I’ve been told I’m handsome, and not just by my mom, but I’m willing to share pictures early on so there’s no awkwardness if we don’t vibe that way. I can be an adult about it, I promise. I enjoy staying active, getting to the gym regularly or just walking my pea-brained dog around my neighborhood. I prefer to create over consume, so I’m not fully up to date on the latest tv shows, but I can provide you with some delightful insights into the nonsense that is my maga coworker.

And what about you? Ideally 30 , available beyond 8-5 M-F (though I get that weekends are tricky for everyone and real life comes first), mutual attraction is a must, and the ability to converse beyond the obligatory “what do you do for work” questions is necessary for a long term bond. I’m EST, so please don’t be from the other side of the world unless you’re awake all night. I am a night owl though, so there’s that.

Anyhooooo, I’ll try to avoid being long winded and save some mystery for when you reply. Tell me about your favorite pair of shoes, or maybe what you want to be when you grow up.