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Alright, here’s the basic : 38F, brown hair, brown eyes, 5’1”, 112 lbs, professional, married.
You: married [ legally married] no long term relationships or common in law marriage, etc. White, 5’9” to 6’0” (seriously, no exceptions—(35-42 (also non-negotiable, let’s keep this age-appropriate), athletic, clean shaven or stubble, no beard , captivating brown or hazel eyes. Blue doesn’t do it for me.
Now, don’t think you can slide in here with a basic life story. I’m drawn to the rare breed—the ones who’ve actually lived or has unique life story. Did you escape a cult? Rebel against your cookie-cutter upbringing? Feel like there’s more to life than just mortgage payments, picking up kids from school, and meal prepping? Perfect
Important: If you think sending a dick pic will impress me—spoiler alert—it won’t. But feel free; I’ll happily forward it to my girlfriends for a group critique on your shrimp.
Professional, clever, emotionally stable (yes, really) and available men only. USA . Discretion required.
P.S - Downvote me, you little hater—hope your unresolved trauma, mommy issues, and fragile ego keep you warmer than the weighted blanket you definitely cry under. Maybe sage your aura… or just get a therapist already!
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