Can you be honest with yourself about how selfish this is? Do you embrace the contradiction between your essential goodness - your dedication to your family and/or SO - and your pursuit of forbidden desire? We all have our reasons for seeking an affair, and I believe those reasons are valid. But right alongside the justifications is the reality that the choice we have made to do this is selfish and deceitful. If you can't cut the self-delusional bullshit about that hard, dark truth of what you're doing here, I don't want it.

I'm committed to my SO and looking for someone who is in the same boat. At the moment I only have the capacity for something online, but I am open to it evolving beyond that in the future if the opportunity presents itself. I'm on the west coast of the US, but I love connecting with people from all over the world. I am a creative and hope to meet someone who has some sort of artistic talent as well. Ideally we'll bond by sharing and exploring interests in music, visual art, literature, film, philosophy, history, anthropology, deep existential musings - any and all of the above. Let's create a safe space for us to be totally honest with each other and develop our own unique chemistry. Maybe that blossoms into full blown romance, or maybe it leads us toward something more like a deep and supportive friendship with flirtatious undertones.

Physical attraction is important. If it's not there for me, I'm sorry, but neither will be my interest in you. I don't expect anything different from you, so you should be open to swapping photos early on to determine if there is a mutual physical attraction. I know attraction is subjective and ultimately only you know what you like, but I am generally considered a good looking guy and have plenty of self-esteem to weather potential rejection. I go to the gym and keep myself in above-average shape, and I am attracted to women who take care of themselves similarly.

That's all for now. If you have any interest in chatting, you know what to do :-)