I know; it’s a little unorthodox to tell you why you shouldn’t slide into my DMs. However, having been around this in this arena for a while, I’ve learned what goes wrong. Naturally, Im married and my story is largely the same as everyone else here. So, let’s begin

1. I’m super needy. Like, are you already mad at me? TELL ME I’M PRETTY.

2. I will climb up on nerdy soapboxes about work stuff that will not interest you. It’s most for me, I don’t expect you to care that much about my niche work.

3. I will 100% spam you with pictures of my stupid face, my dogs, dumb memes, etc. Some people find that annoying. My dogs are never annoying so you will learn to live.

4. I am way too into 90s music, and my opinions are far too strong. I’ll fight you if you besmirch the good name of Tha Crossroads by Bone Thugs.

5. I really enjoy/hate working out and will complain about it constantly. I’m not gonna brag or talk about how much I can bench (because the number is embarrassingly small). But I’ll bitch about the stupid things I have to do to maintain this mediocre physique.

6. I will tell you really stupid jokes. For example, I don’t know much about Switzerland but the flag is a big plus. Yeah, that’s the good stuff.

7. I’m in the Southwest US, so you’ll hear me brag about how mild the winters are and then bitch and moan when it’s 130 in the summer. I am never satisfied.

8. I will always try to communicate when I’m not available but sometimes I may disappear for a day. Work may have been insane; or maybe I was grouchy and didn’t want to burden you with my bullshit. I’ll always try to talk about it though.

There are many more reasons but that will be for you to learn about, should you dare to navigate these character flaws. So, if you made it this far, may as well sent me a chat and share some more red flags! Ending these things is always weird…