Two score and six years ago, I arrived to Earth from a planet beyond the stars. My mission was to take the form of Amazon Basics Jimmy Fallon, create half-human kids with an Earthling and determine if the human race deserves total destruction or not.

Humans were doing just fine throughout the 80's, 90's and part of the 2000's. But then you guys discontinued Jell-O pudding pops and allowed Daft Punk to split up. So yeah, party's over.

BUT if I found an awesome married woman here, I might call off the invasion. Looking for someone slim, athletic or with voluptuous curves who is kind, assured, emotionally intelligent, expressive and fun! And please be willing to meet in person. Perhaps even a getaway somewhere. And unlike the stain the sheets then hit the streets types like E.T. and Starman, we're going together.

Hopefully you don't feel guilty about doing this and you're not missing your douchebag ex. Human men suck, time for a G from Kepler-69c.

We won't be able to talk 24/7 but I do check in often. Also available weekends and some evenings but I'm an early riser. Telegram or Signal work best for me.

Please only those within the continental United States, Alaska, Hawaii or Puerto Rico. Of course, we'll both get tested beforehand before we do anything. I'm clean on three galaxies and hopefully so are you. Also not into the occult, BDSM, choking, rape fantasies, cosplaying as a wombat etc I know I'm a fucking alien but damn.

My human form is tall with salt and pepper hair, Indiana Jones scruff, broad shoulders, narrow waist and muscular/athletic. I workout five times a week so I can eat pancakes and Cocoa Puffs for seven.

When I'm not stargazing and keeping an eye on my home planet, I love being a dad to my Earth children (and dog too), anything chocolate, learning foreign languages, passionate sex, discovering new artists/songs, NFL, WWE, hanging out at rooftop bars and playing Galaga at barcades to lose on purpose.

Live long and prosper.