Good morning/afternoon (here anyway)! Happy holidays! How's your day looking? Hope the world is treating you well. Getting any time off for the holidays? My time off looks surprisingly low key. Leaves plenty of time to chat.

If you make it to the end of this post there's an R-rated Xmas joke.

And with pleasantries out of the way...

• Are you a real live intelligent adult woman, probably over 50 but definitely over 38 (thanks to the "half my age plus 7" rule), who has lots of chances to chat throughout the day/evenings and weekdays/weekends?
  
• Are your best features your wit, intelligence, and good-hearted nature, not abs I could bounce a quarter off?
  
• Are you a big fan of celebrating wins, commiserating losses, diving deep into conversations, sharing stupid-funny memes, exchanging playful zingers that never get mean, and the occasional innuendo that leads to who knows where?
  
• And are you a fan of "Good Mornings," "Good Nights," and "How's the day treating you?" (because you'll be getting those regularly)?
  

Then keep on reading.

I'm a professional, super liberal, science-believing, vax-taking, politics junkie with a hippyish, easy-going personality, and full of dad jokes, bad puns and (after getting acquainted) flirty messages.

I strive to be a BLM/LGBT /Pro-choice ally but know I still have things to learn. I'm passionate about tunes (old and new), live music, movies (old and new), and podcasts (let's trade links!). I'm a daily Wordle player, so if you play, expect to share scores. Microbrews and top-shelf gin are my friends, and I’m slowly getting into recreational weed and top shelf whiskeys.

Fair warning... Not a fan of pumpkin spice anything so don't hold that against me. Though you can hold other things against me ;).

I'll share my pic early to prove I’m not a decrepit 63-year-old, but you can hold onto yours until you’re comfortable. I’m HPW-ish (5'11", 220 lbs, working on getting to One-derland, 199 or less).

Are you in the Central Time Zone? Great! (I’m an early riser (6am) and stay up late-ish (10-11pm on weekdays, 12-1am on weekends), so I could make Eastern/Mountain time zones work if we hit it off. Pacific might be a bit of a challenge.) West of the Mississippi? Wonderful! In Missouri? Perfect! You never know how things will work out.

If you have kids, hopefully they’re like mine and mostly out of the house (as much as kids can be). If your mornings are busy getting kids out the door, evenings are filled with homework and practice carpools, and weekends are packed with tournaments and watching PG-13 flicks, you're an amazing parent. But you’re probably very busy. Though you know your schedule better than me.

You're married and not looking to change that (like me) or happily on your own. But you don't hate your situation. Not a fan of partner bashing.

Like me, you don’t hate your job. Or maybe you’re retired from full-time work (hopefully me in a few years). But you generally like your life.

Now the terms and conditions part... if we click, I really will insist on moving off Reddit chat. It’s not secure enough. Telegram/Signal seems to work well for locking things down, so I'll lean towards one of those. And I'll ask about your security settings too.

There’s lots more to discuss and discover. Thanks for reading to the end. Hope to hear from you soon!

Oh BTW...
Wordle 1,287 4/6
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⬛🟩🟩🟩🟩
⬛🟩🟩🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

So why doesn't Santa have any kids?
Because he only comes once a year and that's down a chimney.