Trigger warning: I’m Married.

I hope that made you smile, I always live to kick off a cool variation with some humor. It really helps me gauge who I’m talking to, I get to see how lovely your smile is and a softer side while you keep up your guard.

Before we go any further however, I want to be crystal clear about what I’m looking for so as not to waste your precious time or mine. I’m looking for somebody:

Married, Engaged doesn’t count. People don’t seem to want to ever mention the concept that makes this all work, which is M.A.D. Mutually Assured Destruction. We both have some skin in this game, which helps foster trust and commitment.

Who Wants A Relationship, I’m emotionally available and looking to find a special person to have be a real part of my life. The good stuff and the bad stuff. Let’s be there for one another.

Phew, glad that’s over

I hope everyone is having as lovely a Christmas season as they can, everyone’s situation is different. It’s a mixed bag for me personally. This isn’t my first rodeo but I’ve taken some time off lately. And as I’m up here in my office plotting the perfect execution of Prime Rib, and a Lamb Roast tomorrow for my extended family I thought to myself, “What I really want for Christmas is a girlfriend”. So, here I am.

About me: Grew up very poor, but very successful as an “adult”. I take pride in all I do and all I have, I don’t take things for granted and am often accused of being sentimental. I’d rather listen to your stories and feel the passion of your experience for hours than ever utter a word that may cause the story telling to end. I purposefully seek to learn and understand new things every day. Today, for instance, I learned about the Sentilanese People of Sentinel Island. I’m a great listener and have a very high emotional IQ. My shoulders are a great place to rest your hand, head, or your ankles.

But I’m more than just a set of really strong multi-function shoulders. I also have the followings parts & accessories:

Eyes Ears Lips Arms & Legs & Hands & Stuff A Butt Genitals (Hey boy, what that PP do?) Fingers (10, not to brag) Toes (Unsure how many, I can only count to 10 and I saw my fingers first)

A little more about me:

Tall (Hella)

Bearded

White (Boring, I know)

Married

No Kids (Raised all my siblings if that counts)

A Puppy

Kind

Empathetic

Flirty (I’ve done time in Horny Jail. I’m a bad boy)

Serious

Silly

Caring

Romantic

Let’s catch feelings, let’s be something special to one another, let’s give each other all the stuff we can’t give them. Send me a chat, mention the number purple in your message for double xp.