‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through OA,
All the creatures were stirring, seeking their spark.

The posts were updated with care and delight,
In hopes that a secret partner would pop up tonight.

The 20 somethings were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of MILFs danced in their heads.
And I, on my phone, with a thumb on the screen,
Was scrolling through Reddit, as hopeful as keen.

When scrolling the posts there arose a catchy title. I sprang from my couch to see what it would bring.
Away to the posts I flew in a flash,
And saw "pics to the top" — the usual trash.

But then, in a moment, a post so sweet,
A title with some sass, I had to see more. I clicked on the post, took a quick glance,
Saw they loved sports and was that soccer mom!

“Perfect!” I thought, “Could this be the one?”
Then came my well crafted reply. — a response shouldn’t take long! But they removed their post fast, without a reply.

I sighed and moved on, as we all tend to do,
But lo and behold, another post came through!
This one, much better — a witty remark,
"Are you into Suburban Moms? Let's leave a spark!"

Excited, I typed with a playful reply,
But just as I hit send, the message went dry.
The chat was accepted, a reply never came,
And I waited in vain for a response that arose.

I checked my profile, my post history, and my text, Wondering why all this seemed to perplex.
Should I switch my approach? Try a new line?
Perhaps mention more hobbies or add in some wine?

Just then, my phone buzzed, and I felt a surprise —
A message from someone who smiled at my reply.

Excited, I typed back, The vibes were high! But then came the dreaded no reply. We bantered, we flirted but she had moved on?

Meanwhile, I kept scrolling, then right in a rush,
I decided I should post, like the lurkers rejoice!

Tall, dark haired, married and fun! Your typical suburban dad, I do my sales job.

Then, just as I pondered the nature of fate,
I saw a new message, then two, then three! As a M on this app I know they won’t come in a plenty, but 5 is a win!

With joy in my chest, I quickly accept the chats. “A joke here a meme there and a pic exchange now I’m feeling all right!”
But as the clock ticked to midnight, with grace,
I realized this app is still quite the race.

So, I leaned back, took a break for the night,
And thought, “Maybe tomorrow, things will feel right.”
For in this world of swipes and of screens,
Pocket pals just come when you least expect it, it seems.

So merry Christmas to all the heathens and to all a good night!