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What if I wrote whats in my head for once?
These apps, and this process.. gahh. Girls hate it, toooo much attention. Creeps. Too much too fast. The guy hate it. Noone, ever.
I married at 20. I missed college sex. That relationship ended in disaster. And then I got to play! But barely. I met a woman. Amazing.
But 15 years of marriage and craving for different. being in the bars, married.. And the look I have. Was one of envy amongst friends. The guy that’s pretty, and was expected to pull the hottest.. Instead I stay loyal. Virgin, craving to know a different woman, or several. When we ended, I was free!
And I played, but very shortly, tinder, clubs. But this one girl, who was supposed to be a fwb. But is instead in the same place as me with a disaster divorce and free. Has to be the most amazing woman that wrecked my plans of being very promiscuous.. We’ve been together now a long time. And she is my forever.
But, Why do I still crave that for which I never had?!
I ask, What if just one more? Who would she be? A 20 something, because that is what I missed. I would want to be with a 25 year old fit athletic beauty. Or someone my age, and just the most stunning married bombshell. One worth all the risk.
Why am I in such conflict?
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