This is something I should have done for myself a long time ago, but sometimes it’s hard to realize when it’s time to put yourself first. You try so hard to be the ideal partner, to make things work, to do everything right. Then one day, you wake up and understand—it’s not just about your efforts. A relationship is a two-way street, and when the other person doesn’t meet you halfway, there’s only so much you can do. That’s when you decide: it’s time to focus on your own happiness.

Here’s my reality: I’m 40 years old and have been married for most of my adult life. My wife and I met in college—early freshman year, to be exact. We became sweethearts and tied the knot after graduation. It seemed like the perfect story. But looking back, I realize I missed out on so much. I never got to have the typical college experience—dating around, cutting loose, figuring out who I was. Instead, I poured everything into being the “perfect partner.”

I grew up in a toxic household where being mistreated and yelled at felt normal. That shaped my understanding of relationships, so I carried those unhealthy patterns into my own life. I thought enduring emotional neglect was just part of love. But over time, I came to see that’s not true. A healthy relationship doesn’t leave you feeling small, neglected, or like you’re always coming second.

It’s taken me years to recognize this and admit that the relationship I’ve been in hasn’t made me happy for a long time. The emotional abuse, the lack of connection—it all took its toll. I’ve changed as a person because of it, and not in ways I’m proud of. Even though the situation has improved somewhat, the damage is done. And now I’m at a crossroads, asking myself: should I keep settling for unhappiness just because walking away feels impossible?

I’ve decided the answer is no. I’m here because I want to find what I’ve been missing. I long for emotional security and genuine connection—meaningful conversations, playful banter, and the joy of truly being seen and understood by someone. That’s what I’m searching for, and I hope to find someone who’s looking for the same.

Maybe you’re in a similar situation—feeling overlooked, unappreciated, or stuck in a relationship that doesn’t fulfill you. If that resonates with you, I’d love to hear your story. Tell me about your hopes, your dreams, the things you still want to experience before life passes you by. Maybe we can create something new together, or maybe we’ll just find comfort in sharing our journeys.

I’m quietly optimistic that someone out there feels the same way. If you think that might be you, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Let’s see where this leads.