I want an online girlfriend. A mistress. A partner in crime. Whatever you want to call it.

What I don’t want is something cheap, shallow, and purely sexual. (But let’s be honest. Mostly sexual.) Also not looking for short term. Hopefully build something we enjoy in the long term.

Since my bedroom died what I miss more than anything else is making a woman feel good. Making you feel great. Maybe it’s weird but I seem to put a lot of my sense of masculinity in pleasing you. I’ve never understood men who think the height of sex is just getting their nut. That’s boyish and unfathomable to me. I prefer to run up the score as much as possible.

What I’m looking for: A woman who is also married, or at least firmly attached. I’ve come to realize that I need more but I also need someone with the same situation as me.

I am an incorrigible sarcastic ass so if you don’t have a healthy sense of humor we might not jibe well. Other than that, this is likely to be mostly a textual relationship so knowledge of basic grammar is a must. And if you can only spit out a few sentences an hour (except for the obvious times when life gets in the way. We have lives that precedence, of course) it’s going to be hard to build a satisfying rapport.

Let’s be honest about physical attraction. It matters. We don’t need to exchange pictures immediately but it should happen early on if we seem to click otherwise so we don’t waste each others time. I don’t expect you to be a 2% body fat IG model (I’m certainly not) but I’ve been told I’m decently attractive and hopefully you are too. I don’t have a “type” at all so HWP is really my only physical must have.

Other than that I’m just hoping we can bring some fun and excitement into each others lives. I’m not looking to change either of our situations. We’re here to fill the gaps, not remodel the whole house.

I want to be the reason you smile discreetly. The reason you blush, cross your legs tight unconsciously, and almost get called out for biting your lip.

Sexually, I’m definitely on the dominant side. But not exclusively so. I absolutely adore being between a woman’s thighs and I don’t mind you riding me like you’re trying to fuck me into next week. In fact, I’d gladly volunteer as tribute. However, most days I find my mind wandering to moments of primal need. Pinning you to the wall. Reaching up under your skirt and freeing your unmentionables just enough to let me have you. Yanking you by the ponytail until you can’t feel where you end and I begin. Finding that soft spot that makes you get so loud you’re perfectly silent. And hitting it over and over and over.

I also want to plant you on my lap and make out. Yes, just make out. I want to make you aware of your body. Each curve. That spot at the base of your neck. That valley of thin skin by your collarbone. That strip of soft skin on the side of your ribs. You never realize how sensitive it is until I’ve taken your shirt off and I’m grazing my fingers down your sides. Who will break first and go for the zippers? I have an idea but…you never know.

And just because I tried to fuck you through the headboard a bit doesn’t mean I don’t want to cuddle afterwards. :)

I want to build something real and satisfying in many ways even if we never end up never end up meeting. Please have the time and energy to actually invest, too. Talk is cheap so show me you can actually keep up.

(Oh and MAGA or MAGA adjacent should look elsewhere. It won’t work.)

(Also you can say hi if you’re PST but I find the time difference makes it really difficult unless you keep odd hours.)

Ultimately, I really mean it. I want to make you feel as feminine as I feel masculine. I am addicted to making you feel that sense of reckless pleasure. That and more.

Hopefully, you do too.

Reddit chat is fine to start but let’s move to telegram if we like each other.