OK, so I want to get something straight here: I am not going to beat around the bush with regards to what it is I'm looking for. I feel like a lot of the posts here are pretty much the same (both men and women). And based on those, I'm probably not going to appeal to too many people here. That's fine. I didn't get an anonymous login to reddit to up my social standing. Here goes.

I am a middle-aged guy on the west coast of the US. I'm tallish, have a dad bod but no kids (oh but don't worry, I do try to take care of myself... oh who am I kidding, I don't go to the gym). I'm a white guy with all my hair and teeth. I'm in a pretty happy marriage. I also have some fun on the side, but that is intermittent, and I need/want more. I'm very creative in and out of bed. I'm a giver. I'm looking for someone who can be a friend, but also a friend with benefits.

Now, here's where I probably stray from the flock: I will not be "monogamous" for you. I will also not be able to talk to you 24x7. I'm amazed at all the people with kids and families and jobs who want constant attention. Nope, not me. I will be around and I will be talkative when I can. And since I have a life offline, I will not be around some of the time as well. My availability is usually weekdays during the day, and occasional fits and starts on weekends and evenings. That doesn't mean I'll ghost and disappear - I have more respect for other people than that. If it's not working out, I'll tell you and we talk about it.

OK, rant over. If I've not completely turned you off by now, here's a bullet list of what I'm looking for in a new friend:

• Age: I guess I don't care, but it would be nice if generationally we had something in common.
• Ethnicity: Also I don't care.
• Size/body type: As long as you are confident in your skin, I find that sexy as hell. If you have hangups about how you look, move along.
• Sexuality: Know what you want and how to get it. Know your own kinks. Be comfortable talking about your sexuality.
• Social stuff: I'm politically to the left, and not very religious. I also drink socially. I don't smoke. For you on those? If there are topics you don't want to talk about, that's probably a non-starter for me.
• Education and job: People who know how to read, to the front of the line.
• Availability: Please have a job or basic life responsibilities so you're not sitting around staring at your phone all day. I respect you if you sign off in the evening to be with your kids/husband/wife/dog/whatever. That's what makes an UTR NSA thing fun - the anticipation and waiting!

Gosh, what else? I know I'm going to get super swamped with messages (lol jk) but if you send me a note, please say something about yourself in it. Chats and DMs are fine, but let's plan on moving off of Reddit if we click.