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Well here we are... typical Saturday morning... I'm hiding in bed in tears, while he's off doing whatever he wants because the only thing that matters is what he wants. It doesn't matter what I do, how much effort or time, or pieces of myself I put in... it'll never be enough.
I spent some time with a friend last night with our kids, and she told her 12 yr old daughter "if you really like or love someone, you wanna spend as much time with them as you can"... and we'll that hit me just right. Why am I constantly alone if I'm with someone? How is it I have a whole ass family, but I'm always lonely?
I've had many after many promise me the moon, only to be constantly shattered. To constantly lose pieces of myself to the point I'm not even really sure who I am anymore.
I've had APs before. I've had long term serious ones, not just short lived flings. I just want something real. Something I've only ever had once.
Stay at home special needs mom, cat mom, plus size, mental health survivor, DV and SA survivor, lover of Disney, animals, and crime. Show me I'm not chasing a dream that needs to be buried...
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