I'm surprised how challenging it is to find someone who can last longer than 24 hours. However, a few unsuccessful launches won't deter me from shooting for the moon. I just need the right partner down for the journey. I should preface this by saying my life ain't all that bad, but it would be better with you in it. I've ventured down this path before and know it takes a lot of patience and a bit of luck to find someone special.

Also, I'm not joking about the being handsome part. I've been threatened by redditor(s) for downplaying my attractiveness (and the fact I don't smile enough). Now let's continue, shall we? It's obvious we're seeking sexual gratification - sure, underneath the superficial, we're really in search of validation, attention, and respect. Call me crazy, but I think these are essential for any relationship, especially within the confines of an affair.

About me: I wear a big smile often. I’m self-assured, funny, a tad bit kinky, and unapologetic in my opinions and pursuits. I've been around the world, dress well, medium-ugly, with a halfway decent mugshot, and can regale you with tales of my ridiculous life misadventures Far from having a dad bod, but not quite the adonis I aspire to be. I'm confident with my 6'5", broad shoulders, and nice ass. Plus, it doesn't hurt that I never skip leg day. Recently, I was told my hands were sexy, which admittedly I didn't know was a thing. Throw in a few tattoos and...voila! That's me. Overall, it's not bad for a guy pushing 38. My friends describe me as loyal, my colleagues consider me ambitious, and my kids think I'm the best daddy ever. I have my master’s and am also working towards a second graduate level degree. Apparently, I should mention that I'm a man in uniform. (hint: It's not UPS * inserts joke about package ) Overall, I'm a gentleman with just enough BDE to come across as more charming than obstreperous. Although I was once told my hobbies are "terrifying," motorcycles are not *that bad. Hahaha. There's more, but I'd prefer to leave a little up to your imagination for now and have something to talk about.

Ideally, you would be:

• In the range of 27 to late 48, but these numbers aren't firm.

• Conventionally attractive, sure, but an ever greater personality is a must

• Someone with high personal standards and enjoys the finer things in life and isn't afraid to indulge.

• A sense of humor, love to laugh and joke around. Sarcasm is a bonus mandatory

• Open to an emotional connection

• A filthy mouth learned from your many days spent in the company of sailors

• Educated and inquisitive

• looking for something long-term

• Consistent communication

• Confident and direct

• Good taste in music, I need someone who can appreciate the symphony of life in all its forms. If you're a fan of Tchaikovsky or Hans Zimmer, skip to the front of the line.

As much as this post conveys the opposite, I try not to take myself too seriously. I’m not particularly desperate and treat this with a heavy level of discernment. Although I may be a filthy adulterer, I really hope to find that elusive spark that I know is out there, somewhere. I'm trying to keep things short (currently 567 words and 3,173 characters). I definitely failed at avoiding this essay writing, but hopefully, I provided solid reasons why you should take a chance on me. I’ve been described as intense (in a good way, I'm sure) but I tend to be very thoughtful and I'm here hoping find someone like me, that I can make smile and appreciate the way she deserves.

If I've piqued your interest, spurred your curiosity, or you're just bored and want to send some hate messages my way, feel free to send me a chat. I'm looking forward to it, and you.

ghosts and flakes need not apply.

Total word count: 673 words or 3,751 characters