What do we actually put here? And what are we actually looking for when we're the ones reading these things? It all seems so... monolithic; all the posts are more or less the same, so how do you stand out as the one posting and how do you — the one reading all these —decide who to message? I don't like the idea of the whole thing feeling like a competition as if I'm on some kind of online gameshow or that I need to "sell" myself. Quick, quick! Gather 'round and let me woo you with my charm!

I have had online connections that were incredibly meaningful; not just casual flings, but years-long online relationships that were important, intimate, and real. I've had connections that made me belly laugh, chemistry with people that came instantly, moments that made me terribly sad, memories planted years ago that I still think about routinely, and others I'd not care to forget. There are people in which I wonder if I knew them better than anyone in their "real lives" and there are others in which I wonder if I actually knew the real them at all; sometimes I feel both things for the same people.

I'm not going to pretend or try to convince you that I'm perfect at this or that I'm drastically different than any other guy here. Sometimes I'm shallow, sometimes life pulls me away, sometimes I try to move a little too fast or too slow. But sometimes... sometimes it's easy and effortless. Sometimes there's that chemistry where categories like that don't even exist because however our dynamic presents itself is just.. us? There isn't overthinking and willful steering at best and forcing things at worst. It just flows on its own.

I know what I'm looking for. Someone I can talk to, eventually, about anything and they can do the same. Someone who laughs at my dumb jokes and makes me laugh when they give me shit about them. Someone who has hobbies and interests outside of this and likes talking about them. Someone who wants something more than a quick convo every few days, but also knows that real life comes first and this space supplements our lives and doesn't replace them. Someone who understands how important communication is and that this only works if we're both open and honest in how we're feeling and what we're wanting. Someone who likes sharing photos/videos of their day and of themselves. Someone to share our secrets with. Someone to get off with. Someone to make fond memories with. Someone with whom, together, we make something very real and meaningful for us.

Someone who.. when it eventually ends... it really fucking hurts. Because then you know it was good.