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I'm that 34 year old dad next door/DILF you wonder about over a glass of red wine after making eye contact a split second longer than strictly appropriate but not long enough to be creepy during pickup time at our kids' dance class. I have salt and pepper hair, a short, neat beard, and sparkling blue-green eyes. I work from home in the tech industry and have a white picket fence out back, albeit a shitty plastic one that's missing a crown molding after a recent storm (and if that isn't an allegory for the state of the American dream, I don't know what is). I don't have a distance runner physique, but I attend a boxing workout class and play basketball regularly.
I do realize Drake is a problematic person, but I'm in my mid 30s now and past the age where I am capable of absorbing new cultural touchstones or learning how to use a new meme template. I also occasionally tell my cat to "Get down, girl, go ahead, get down..." when she jumps on the countertop even though Kanye is canceled too. I love witty TV comedies, cheesy Christmas rom coms, and anytime a poignant moment is perfectly scored with an obscure indie folk song. If you would like to chat, let me know your favorite cheesy holiday movie and/or TV comedy.
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