I know, the title has the best opening line ever.

But it's me, a 40-year-old guy from USA, writing an ultra-personalized... ermm... public... message, just for you, and... ermm... Many. Others. Who. Read. This--- Okay, you get it. I am as well versed at writing fairy tales promising you heaven and earth, emotional nirvana and seven orgasms per night as the previous guy. Except, I'm obviously telling the truth!

In truth, I just want you. As simple as that. But what does that mean? Is that too vague? One hundred percent. I just want you. And hope you want me. And if that's so, we'll start from there. If such vagueness is not your cup of tea, that's okay; I drink coffee, and we just missed each other.

But if you do drink coffee and enjoy the initial uncertainty of what might happen after reaching out--- If you're hoping that this could be the one; that this time you'll find the good kind of connection, the one you want, the connection that leads to... hmm... anywhere? Somewhere? The connection that feels comfortable and good and calm but also goofy sometimes and funny, and also makes you smile a little and bite your lips a little, and makes you smirk a little bit, and raise your eyebrows sometimes too... Well, just reach out already, okay? :) I promise, I don't bite! Mostly. So, just like and subscribe--- Oh, wait, wrong social media platform. Just send a chat and let's see what happens, okay? :)

P.S.

Below is the usual part where I tell mostly truthful and totally not exaggerated facts about myself so that post feels like it belongs here:

Male. 40. USA. I like to cook, hike, read (all true so far) and watch scary movies and true crime. I also like to write (this one is also true). I am tall, handsome and respectfully flirtatious (100% true!) and awesome in every respect, just like everyone else here. I am educated (true) and funny, and more interesting and euphoria-inducing than whatever your favorite prescription medicine ingredient is. I'd like to talk to you online. I won't ask you for your selfie (I don't need a validation photo to know that you are beautiful!), and I probably won't share mine for a while either. Please be 35 years old or older.

P.P.S

Yes, even if you are a monster who desecrates her coffee with sugar, my chat's open for you. Yes, we will have serious and maybe even contentious conversations initially, but I promise you, even if we don't work out, you'll have the most memorable three minutes of your life!