This might be an unpopular opinion, but I never wanted a relationship like Marshall and Lily. It's too fake. Too perfect. Ted was real. He was genuine. He loved love, and he just wanted that best friend that he could fall in love with. He never stopped looking until he found her. Even when she was right in front of him the whole time.... I want to find my best friend... the man who is gonna think about me constantly. Who is gonna miss me when we get busy. I want the random pics and selfies throughout the day. I want to share songs, and voice memos. I want to play games together, and have virtual "dates" any way we can find. I want the random love letters, and long messages. I want to adore each other... I want someone who would steal the blue French horn for me...

I am 30, turn 31 next week. Plus size stay at home mom to 1 autistic son who just turned 12, and 2 cats. My relationship at home is basically nonexistent. I do eventually have plans on leaving i just can't right now. I wouldn't say I'm looking for an exit affair, I just like putting that out there so if it ever comes up in conversation you're aware that regardless of what happens to me in this lifestyle I have no intention of staying in my current relationship forever. I crochet, dabble in digital art. I love taking pictures especially of the sky. I love animals more than people, have a "healthy" obsession with true crime. I do play some video games on the switch, have about 100 playlists on Spotify, and binge watch a lot of shows because I'm one of those that even if I'm cleaning or being productive I have to have the TV on. Disney is a hobby lol I think music is a love language. I'm good at making people laugh, can be a little nerdy, and tend to be everyone's go to person. SA survivor and DV survivor, so i may be a little slow moving on the sexual front, but feeling safe with the right person, I will get there.

I do like to be upfront with my mental health. I have recently been diagnosed officially with major depressive disorder, I have had ptsd and multiple forms of anxiety for about 10 years. I am in therapy and work on myself every day, but as we know healing isn't linear, so sometimes I just have really rough mental days so try not to hold it against me. 🩶