It's always tricky to know what you should write here. People want to know a little about you, but they're obviously not trying to read a book. However, to keep it succinct, you can really only share the usual superficial information—I like these things most others like, I live on this half of the US, I once left a man for dead in Reno, etc.—which kind of makes it pointless to include at all. Striking that balance between providing enough information and insight to make readers feel compelled to reach out versus scaring readers off when they're confronted with a wall of text that ain't nobody trying to read is an art that has been lost probably several generations ago. They say only a handful of still-practicing Samurai continue to possess the ability.

Now, I know what you're thinking; "My guy, you've just written this long paragraph and haven't said anything about yourself!" But you know what? I disagree.

For example, you should have been able to pick out that I'm obviously steeped in traditional ways of the Samurai. Maybe you noticed my use of the auxiliary verb "have" when using the past participle "written" giving strong indications that I wasn't raised by a traveling caravan of carnies or that I'm simply not from Florida. Most obviously, you likely learned that I'm not someone who takes their own advice.

If you're still reading this then congratulations! I mean, there isn't a prize or anything, but if you've made it this far then you *definitely* know how to read—and hey, that's not nothin'. If you know how to read, then you probably know how to write well enough to shoot me a message which includes these opening details: your mother's maiden name, your social security number, and your preferred pejorative for "little person."

No, I'm obviously kidding; don't tell me any of those things (definitely don't tell me answers to that last one... that would be awful... I do not want to hear whatever hilarious names or phrases you may have...). However, if you have actually made it this far then you must be curious enough to at least see what this guy is about, right? Like.. what's his deal? Does he have too much free time? Can he make brownies? Has he ever gotten lost in an Ikea? Can he command a falcon or not?

And the answer to at least some of those questions is.... maybe.

So come say hi, let's talk and get to know one another in a normal, humanlike way called "conversing," and maybe what we'll find is something we're both eventually pretty stoked about.