Given that I’ve been around this carousel multiple times, I’ve learned about myself and what I want. Rather, what I don’t want. That’s that hard part, right? We all want the same thing, to feel loved and seen and valued and supported and desired. But what that looks like can take many forms. So, what don’t I want?

I don’t want to get into sexy things quickly. It ruins things and just becomes about the sex. If I wanted to get off, there’s a whole internet for that.

I don’t want to compromise with what I find attractive in a person. I think it’s okay to be selfish in this arena, because after all, we’re only here for ourselves.

I don’t want to have to carry the conversation or beg for your attention. If you don’t have the time to start something, then don’t waste my time. We’re both adults, let’s take things seriously.

I don’t want to have some sort of long-term plan or expectation. None of us really want to change our situations, and so we know things will only have one outcome at some point.

Having said that, I do have preferences for what I prefer (none of these are dealbreakers). You’re somewhere north of 35, kids preferably, take care of yourself physically (you needn’t be a muscle mommy or anything, but able to ambulate under your own power), intelligent, passionate, and driven. My only dealbreakers are Trump voters, non-US (I’ve tried; the logistics just don’t work), and people who don’t like to share pics and things.

If you’re still here, that’s amazing. More about me, then. 42, in the Southwest. Four tattoos, three kids, two dogs, one beard. I spend my free time working out, napping, reading, or just staring into the abyss. I’m 6’3”, and I say I have brownish hair but I’m really just in denial about how gray I’m getting.

Wow this got longer than I expected. If I haven’t come across as a giant asshole, send me a note! Maybe we can learn more together.