Last night we had Chinese food delivered. In addition to our dinner, they brought more fortune cookies than anyone would ever want to eat. After the meal my daughter wanted to throw them out but being a rational person, I said, “And waste the potentially life-altering advice contained in those cardboard-tasting confections?” She rolled her eyes, told me to have fun, and I proceeded to crack them all open. Little did I know the nuggets of knowledge contained in those folded delights would lead me here.

The first cookie had two fortunes in it. One said, “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.” The other advised, “Don't pursue happiness - create it.” I haven’t had an AP in awhile and recently I decided to start looking again. I do need happiness so after reading that fortune I’m going to be proactive and, hopefully, create it with an intelligent, fun, down-to-earth woman.

The next fortune said, “Good health will be yours for a long time.” I do all the things the doctor says I should be doing, regular exercise, play a few sports, yoga, no smoking, etc., so I figured I have another 30-40 years in me. But this 2 inch x .5 inch piece of paper basically telling me I’m going to live forever, was welcome news. So for all you ladies looking for a long term AP, search no further.

Now don’t get me wrong, this cookie- based wisdom had me pretty convinced I should take the plunge and look for an AP. But I was still hesitant. Would I find someone who is able to text through the day and in the evening? Is there a woman out there who laughs at dumb jokes and puns? Could I find someone to give me advice on what book I should read next or give me a new show to binge? I wasn’t sure until I read the last fortune which said, “Impatience may be appropriate at this time.”

That was the sign I’ve been waiting for, so here I am. Someone please send me a message and make eating those worthwhile.