Where to begin?

I’m here because home is both the best and the worst part of my life: healthy, beautiful children I adore and a marriage that seems a trainwreck no matter what I invest. It's left me with two choices - take a risk or join a monastery. And I just can't get onboard with those haircuts...

Still, it seems to be a challenge in an online community with a MONUMENTAL gender imbalance, trying to stand out from the pile of typical males who whip their trouser snake out with monotonous regularity.

Overwhelming, right?

So in the interests of clarity, here are some true facts about me:

1. I’m tall, dark, and come with deep chocolate eyes, absolutely free of charge.

2. I'm passionate and educated with a cheeky sense of humour, and although I'm not looking to change anyone's circumstances, I am looking for more than just a bedroom rendezvous.

3. I believe that a man should make a woman laugh BEFORE he dives for her panties; I believe that wine should never come out of a box; and I believe that Die Hard IS a Christmas movie.

4. I’m never going to give you up, let you down, run around, and desert you.

Ultimately, I'm looking for a connection to make both of our lives better. As Morgan Freeman says in The Shawshank Redemption, "Get busy living or get busy dying."

PS - I may have Rickrolled you earlier in my post. Sorry. I couldn't resist.