Adventurer wanted!

Looking for a brainy necromantress with a grimoire full of witty charm to rescue me from a dead bedroom and match my dorky sense of humour in a casual kinky flirtationship. Paying in dumb puns, ironic digressions, and l'esprit d'escalier. No paladins need apply.

I'm a 30-something (four, the something is four) disenchanted daydreamer, my LTR seems to be stuck in a rut, and the planet at large is determined to tear itself apart, so why shouldn't I toss a metaphorical coin into the great randomizer of Reddit and hope to score a jackpot? If gambling didn't pay off people wouldn't enjoy it this much, right? My double-zero bet is that special someone whose words, thoughts, and personality would burrow into my cranium with surgical precision and stimulate the dusty parts of my brain like a ghastly modification of a scalp massager (you're welcome).

I work in the highly lucrative and not at all endangered trade that is languages, fancy myself a writer but struggle to get things done lately because see above, find solace in good books of many genres and thoughtful video games, and enjoy listening to miserable men and women despondently strum their guitars. A staunch leftie with occasional enlightened centrist takes. No kids and no intention of ever having any. Alas, I cannot offer you the whole "tall dark mysterious stranger" package: best I can do is dark blonde, quirky, and emotionally intelligent. I am freakishly tall, though; thanks, Mother Nature, the airplane seat manufacturers salute you. And speaking of freaky, I'm a dom-leaning switch full of feral, slightly sadistic, and very pent-up urges behind the whole nerdy façade.

Since I happen to be addicted to weird beautiful brains, the necromantress of my dreams is someone intellectual, strange, articulate, funny, sassy but kind-hearted and empathetic, kinky and sex-positive, and who doesn't take herself too seriously because I'm hopelessly allergic to pretentiousness. I hope this nonsensical word salad tickles your fancy if you exist and stumble upon it, o fellow lonesome smartass with a penchant for writerly dorks. I'm not exactly looking for anything quote-unquote serious beyond flirty friendship, although I do think great banter and mutual sapiosexual attraction are pretty damn serious stuff, seeing as they're so hard to come by.

CET timezone if that's important. Come break the ice via chat or DMs if any/all of this happened to strike a chord.