So, if you know what that's from, we'll get along swimmingly. I like how you can drop into the pool, but I'm just trying to remember...

Really, though? In all seriousness? I really am only here for the zip line. I’m not necessarily looking for love. I don't want to strive for butterflies. I’m not necessarily looking to be “your person." I've done all that before. It's messy. And could things get messy again? Sure, for the absolute right person. When you know, you know. But it's not what I'm initially seeking.

So what am I seeking? A friend. With benefits. I want to laugh, send memes, and flirt heavily. I do want a connection. And then I also eventually want to make your panties soaked at work. Maybe you'll even have to start packing an extra pair in your purse. I just want to laugh with you, tell you how pretty you are, and maybe fantasize together about my hand in your jeans in an empty aisle in Target. Who knows? The world is our oyster.

Is that too filthy for this sub? I see so many posts these days that, while well written and I'm sure successful, are just pure romance novel bullshit. I'm just being real, here. If that earns me downvotes, then so be it. But so many posts these days ask for honesty. Well, here it is.

About me? I'm 42, 6', 250, brown hair, a goatee and the most gorgeous blue eyes you ever did see. I have a preference for big girls, so all BBWs, thick, chubby, plus-size ladies to the front. And no, I'm not just interested in your T&A, like most men who say they like big girls. I want your soft tummies and thick thighs and back dimples and love handles and...well, all the soft things that make big girls so attractive to me. I'm totally kink friendly, there's not much I'm not willing to try at least once, super open-minded. You should know that I have a total foot fetish, so if that's a dealbreaker, well, at least you know now instead of later.

I'm happy to share my pic early on so you can verify I'm not a bridge troll. Because, let's be honest, physical attraction is important, no matter what anyone tells you. We're human beings, after all.

So chat me up. Let's flirt. Let's laugh. Let's get steamy.