Hi there! I guess the first thing to say (other than apologising in advance for my overly wordy writing style, if you're keen on posts that are short and to the point I may not be the man for you haha) is sorry for my hopelessly awful posting title. It's funny, you spend years lurking somewhere, wondering if one day you might move out of the shadows, thinking constantly about what you're going to write if/when you do, and then one day you do decide to take the plunge, and your imagination deserts you on probably the most important line of the whole thing. And especially on a sub which generally has amazing posting titles. Anyway, I should stop rambling and get on with it!

My situation: so I'm wondering if I need to write the standard disclaimer about how I'm very happy in marriage, not looking to change anyone's situation etc etc etc - is this true for all of us? I suppose maybe it is, and it certainly is for me, but clearly, like everyone else here, I am unsatisfied, selfishly craving more, a new connection, the thrill of being wanted, the excitement of wanting, the novelty of discovering a new being at the deepest of levels, all of this I have craved for a long time now, and I feel, increasingly, as though I am wasting these best years of my life, when you're still (I guess?) young (ish), and full of energy to give, but your status quo drains you of it all, leaves you drifting, not unhappy, not unhappy at all, but just maybe a bit, underappreciated? unseen? As I write that it makes me feel very selfish, which I have to own I think, and feel comforted that you are too :)

So for a long time I've been coming here, reading the posts, imagining the situations, wondering how involved people who met here got, did they meet, did they talk every day, does this work? I think I always had in my mind that I would love or even need at some point to find out for myself, and then something happened unexpectedly in real life, where the emotions that i'd been internalising suddenly, and very beautifully, lustfully and spontaneously unfolded (I'll spare the graphic details here but they're very much available on request haha), the upshot of which was that I could no longer keep how I was feeling to myself.

I was/am constantly craving it again, but without the spontaneity, and with more emotion, and so whilst I'm not desperate, and want to find someone who's my perfect match, I am here writing this, probably going on too long already, putting out a little hail mary to all the women who might have clicked on my post despite my terrible posting title, inviting you to send me a message :)

Me and what I'm looking for: so whilst I might hope that someone reading this is instantly attracted to my verbose, possibly even slightly irritating writing style, I'm realistic enough to know that if this is to work we need to have physical attraction, so putting all modesty to one side for a second I am going to say that I think I am quite good looking for a 40yr old man.

I'm 6ft 2, I have lots of dark brown hair, and blue eyes, and a European complexion, and I keep myself in good shape by doing masses of exercise (damn testosterone!). My appearance is important to me.

Other than someone who isn't put off by the length of this post I have no real set criteria in what I hope to find, or 'type' physically that I'm attracted to. I think by the nature of being here you are likely to be my kind of person, and beyond that it's really just down to whether we click or not when we (hopefully!) speak, and I think we will know within minutes whether that spark is there or not.

I value confidence, sarcasm and a sense of humour highly, and I like people who are maybe a bit offbeat and independent, and I have no preference about location either - obviously I'd love to have the option of meeting maybe one day at least, but there are always business trips and aeroplanes, and if you're in the UK or even London than that's amazing, but this part is very much of secondary importance.

The last thing I'm going to write (and then I'll stop I promise!), is that although what I want here is a deep emotional connection, I also absolutely want to find something physical/sexual.

I think from years of reading posts on this site it's apparent sometimes that men and women here are mismatched in that way, for obvious reasons, and I want to be totally clear that I am not just here for sex, and I don't even want to talk about sex to begin with necessarily, but I also don't want a friend, or a penpal, or someone just to talk about life with, I need someone who also wants a sexual connection, and has a high sex drive, even if it's been put away for a few years, and that may rule some people out, and I'm ok with that, I just thought I should be up front about it now.

I absolutely want/need emotional synergy, after all sex is nothing without it really, and I am prioritising that, but hopefully you understand/appreciate what I mean.

Anyway, this has gone on far far too long now, so I'm stopping. I have no idea if anyone will read it at all, or get this far along if they do, but if you have done, and you don't think I sound like a complete moron, then please please send me a message and let's see if we click :)