• Height of model – 6ft. A little more bulky than it should be, but it’s been working to lose unnecessary weight off the frame.

• Model is a ginger – all usual coloring, including freckles, does apply. Yes, the carpet matches the drapes, or it would if there was any carpet.

• Model is highly educated in a useless area of the arts.

• Model’s special talents include cooking¹, wine snobbery, witty banter, and the use of the oxford comma.

• Model is a caretaker of two feline assholes²

• The balls on said model have been snipped, so said model is “shooting blanks”, as they say.

• Model is ridiculously flirty and dirty, so please consider this when contacting the model for leasing opportunities.

¹Food porn can be requested, but does not guarantee said food porn will be sent.

²Cat porn can be requested, but does not guarantee said cat porn will be sent.

As you can tell, I’m clearly a very serious person, looking for other very serious people to do super serious things with. If you are ACTUALLY super serious and find the above nonsense annoying, then we maybe shouldn’t be chatting. I spend too much damn time being serious to do it with people on reddit of all places.

Also, I use the word “model”. I….am not. Unit just uh…well you can understand why I didn’t use unit. We can approach the topic of my unit later of course, but…oh you get it. Or you don’t. Maybe if you don’t we shouldn’t chat either?

Anyway! If I made you laugh, shoot me a message. What’s the worst that happens? We chat and have polite but not too deep conversation for a day or two without either of us giving out enough info to truly get into a deep connection, so we slowly stop talking and act like it never happened? Psh. Could be worse.

Not like I bite. I mean I do, but only when asked.