I understand most women lurk on here. A single post that literally no sane man should answer still likely gets hundreds of messages and chats. I see the simps posting on obviously fake advertisements all the time. (No attractive 19 year old wants to suck a dick RIGHT NOW. And if she does she doesn’t come to Reddit.) When a man posts he likely gets one or two messages.

Men must post over and over and over with some sliver of hope that someone semi-normal springs forth from the frothy darkness that is… whatever this place is.

Of these messages most are usually just “hey” and 50% of the time no additional messaging occurs. I can only assume these people immediately died , orgasmed or found someone else to give them more attention.

And of these that continue to respond and continue chatting, most fall into one of three categories: very overweight/incompatible attractiveness (60%), single phrase responders (20%), actual potential (20%).

I have some particular interesting ones that I would like to share. These have all happened long ago so I don’t feel I’ll call anyone out.

1) A pharmacist, at least she claims, who seemed both interesting and intelligent. We go to exchange pictures and she has an entire black bad ass panther tattooed on the side of her half-shaved head. Let me be clear the panther was legitimately bad ass.

2) A 57-year old widow who seemed very nice and actually kind of attractive. Until about the fifth message where she sends a video literally proclaiming her love for me as I was a unique soul. These video messages continue literally FOR. DAYS.

3) Multiple women who want to meet in person, don’t use condoms, don’t use birth control and absolutely do not believe in abortion. I can only assume some poor bastard eventually falls for this and becomes a daddy.

Stay weird, internet. And for the love of god men don’t leave your DNA in a rando.