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I’ve finally figured it out. It’s not about political views (I’m liberal), sexual kinks (too soon for that), body type (I’m a 5’11" HWP who enjoys kickboxing), the books you read (I love bland non-fiction), financial status (shh, the IRS is watching), or whether you're a Taylor Swift fan (I’m not a Swiftie, but I do like her music). It’s not even about whether you use Apple Music or Spotify (I love my iPods).
It’s not about the kind of partner you want (for me, it’s someone incredibly witty with a PhD in innuendos) or what you want from a relationship (a best friend I find so hot not-fucking isnt an option). It’s not even about how much time you can dedicate (I make time, and sneaking messages is the best part).
It’s not about what makes you happy (stargazing with my telescope) or what makes you sad (that last drink on the final day of vacation).
What really matters is the number amazon returns per year**. If it’s over 15, you’re too indecisive. If it’s under 5, you’re okay with compromise. But if it’s between 5 and 15, you’re just perfect for me!
**Considering you made 100 purchases.
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