Hello OA

I've been here a very long time and I've been lucky to have had two long term relationships but, like most of you, I'm back looking again (because, unfortunately, in most cases each one isn't a permanent solution).

One thing I've noticed in the past year or so is the way we are looking for our potential AP. We make lists of wants and requirements and reveal every aspect of our personalities, interests and lives up front in our posts. We are also looking for perfection (because we all know our home lives aren't) and not looking for what affairs are - passion, excitement, connection. Whether it's box checking or prerequisites, it's basically the same as swiping left or right before we even know who anyone is. I propose we go back to bare minimum information and when we strike up conversations, real conversations, we can truly discover each other in a natural way.

The other aspect to this is physical attraction. I think picture swapping should be done up front. Find your way to do it discreetly if you must but get it out of the way early. Again, passion, excitement..

I also believe in our posts we should always make it clear if we are looking for a quicky or a long term relationship because we all have different expectations of what an affair looks like, some want a palette cleanse and others want a commitment relationship. I think this would help match making.

I wish everyone well in their search.

M, 38, married for 17 years, kids. East Coast Canada. Yes, currently looking 💗