Have you noticed that a group of kids in Ms. Frizzle's class grew up to be the Planeteers? Yeah. Just look at the pictures. Mind. Blown. And if you have no idea what I'm on about, you're too young for me. Skedaddle and get off my lawn.

Before we get into the juicy stuff, let me be straight with you for a sec. This shit is awkward. I know it's cliched at this point, but it's true. There are a lot of messages when we post, and we're kind of backed into a corner where decisions have to be made. I mean, you'd hate if I were talking to you AND 50 other people at the same time, and I'd go bananas. All that is to say, if you've messaged me before and didn't get a reply, it's seriously nothing personal (unless you sent me a dick pic because if that's the case, it was personal), and if you're so inclined to reach out again, you're more than welcome. As long as you're awesome. 😉

Alright enough with that. I'm a cute midsized 38 year old woman with a mildly alt look (tattoos included), a couple cats, no kids, and a tolerable decade long marriage. I have a well established niche career that I'm very good at, and well respected for, but have recently decided to say no to things I was doing that were criminally above my pay grade and am now much happier still doing a really good job, but also acting my wage. It's done wonders for my anxiety, and I think it's really important to establish healthy boundaries between work and not work. What do you think? Are you good at that?

I also really value sincerity, curiosity and critical thinking. I don't do well with sarcasm, and the phrase "but that's the way it's always been done" irritates me. We can vent about Susan in accounting that still uses an adding machine.

So this is a call for men living in North America who are within an age range that has shared generational experiences with an old as fuck millennial. Let's say between 40-55.

I HATE listing my preferred physical traits, but attraction IS important, so while it's not set in stone, if you're between HWP and muscular, have tattoos, an alt aesthetic, and a well groomed beard, chances are I'll find you attractive. But obviously I want to be attractive to you too, so we'll just exchange photos once we're convinced we're safe.

Let's listen to darkwave music, give each other tattoo tours, flirt shamelessly, discuss whether or not Bigfoot exists, and exchange YouTube videos that we find interesting.

ETA: Using full sentences goes a long way..... just a tip. ETA 2: STOP CALLING THEM "TATs"!!! It's so cringey (my opinion)