Hmm...it's quiet around here, I guess everyone must be preoccupied with watching football right about now?

And no - I'm not joking about the being handsome part. I was once threatened by a particular redditor if she saw me posting and downplaying my attractiveness. Now let's continue, shall we?

My life ain't all that bad, but it would be nice to have someone who gets "it" - that missing connection we crave and void we are attempting to fill in our lives. I've ventured down before and know it takes a lot of patience and a bit luck to find someone special.

While it's obvious we're seeking sexual gratification, underneath it, we're really in search of validation, attention, and respect. Call me crazy, but I think these things are essential for any relationship, and with me, you're going to get that and more. I'm going to want to talk to you constantly,  I'm going to want to hold your hand when we're together and, of course, some raw passion between the sheets.

About me: I wear a big smile often. I’m self-assured, funny, a tad bit kinky, and unapologetic in my opinions and pursuits. I've been around the world, dress well, medium-ugly, with a halfway decent mugshot, and can regale you with tales of my ridiculous life misadventures Far from having a dad bod, but not quite yet the adonis I aspire to be, but I'm confident when I say I have broad shoulders and a nice ass, and I never skip leg day because, let's face it, I don't want my calves to feel left out. Recently, I was told my hands were really sexy, which admittedly I didn't know was a thing. Throw in a few tattoos and...voila! That's me. Overall, it's not bad for a guy pushing 38. My friends describe me as loyal, my colleagues consider me ambitious, and my kids think I'm the best daddy ever. I have my master’s and am working towards a second graduate level degree. Apparently, I should mention that im a man in uniform. (hint: It's not UPS * inserts joke about package *) Overall, I'm a gentleman with just enough BDE to come across as more charming than obstreperous. However, there's some bad news - my paellas are only a solid 6/10, Gordon Ramsey would find this unacceptable, hopefully you do not.

• There's more, but I'd prefer to leave a little up to your imagination for now and have something to talk about.

Ideally, you would be:

• In the range of 27 to late 48, but these numbers aren't firm.
• Conventionally attractive, sure, but a great attitude is a must
• Someone with high personal standards and enjoys the finer things in life isn't afraid to indulge.
• A sense of humor, love to laugh and joke around. Sarcasm is a bonus
• Open to an emotional connection
• A filthy mouth learned from your many days spent in the company of sailors
• Educated and inquisitive
• looking for something long-term
• Consistent communication
• Confident and direct
  
• Good taste in music, I need someone who can appreciate the symphony of life in all its forms. ** bonus points for being located in the Carolinas or Virginia

As much as this post conveys the opposite, I try not to take myself too seriously. I’m not particularly desperate and more discerning than not when it comes to adding someone into my life. Although I may be a filthy adulterer, I really hope to find that elusive spark that I know is out there, somewhere.

I tried (and failed) to keep things short and avoid writing an essay listing the reasons why you should take a chance on me. Hopefully, you have a good mental picture, but since attraction is multi-faceted, I am open to sharing pics sooner than later. If all this makes me sound like someone worth getting to know, then you know where to find me.