Personality, any height, Mrs Right (not mine of course)

Things your teen make you learn! I’m probably the last person who’s not versed on the tiktoks (as you can see, I unironically put “the” on these apps and make em plural. It makes me more lame and pisses said kid to no end! But I digress)

Anyway, maybe we can both lament how old we are even though our brains insist we’re still in our 30s (despite every conceivable physical sign telling us otherwise). The only thing I want to be serious about is how we’re going to be in it long term AFTER we’ve established that we want to continue chatting. I’m not a timeshare salesman, I promise! Who am I kidding? You’re free to bail; this isn’t a hostage situation either. There are 4 possible outcomes in all this and only one favors us. As you can see I’m that degenerate gambler who’ll go all in with 25% chance of winning

What I’m looking for is…

Personality: be a sweetheart every other day and I’m good! We all have down days and I don’t expect any different

Any height: 4’5 is my cutoff, sorry! It just tells me you’re 10 or something 🤣. All love to my little ladies. As you can tell this is filler

Mrs Right (now): yeah this ones ambiguous. I hate that all this looks a lot like a job application. Make up something up if you have to. Tell me you were the vice ceo of tower records. Hide that felony, queen! If anything that shows what a go-getter you are.

Me: plain, lonely, self-deprecating. I just want to be unserious most times and be good buds. Maybe we’ll fall in like because it’s all online and stakes have never been so low!

I’d like to end this with a fancy dance move but I’ll save that for later (don’t hold your breath though, please)