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Hello you naughty chickens. James here, I happen to be in the UK but I don't care where you are.
What could be more attractive I ask you. I recently got out of prison for interfering with a sheep, 6 years they gave me. Now I work in the local abbatoir, with my trusty chainsaw. I'll even let you hold ole Bessy if you're good.
I should write about my hobbies I guess. Well my main one is I just like to drink beer, and when that's gone my own piss, it's good for you! You can try it if you like. I also like playing the drums. Loud. I just like hitting stuff. What else do I enjoy? Not my much. It's nice to do a big shit every now and then though. I won't use paper though that's filthy. Just my hand.
What else should I tell you fuckers? Oh what I look like. well I'm 6' tall, I got all my own hair. Well there's a bit I burned off the other day but apart from that.. I got my 2 teeth left. All you need really. Both my arms work, the left one I got a metal claw. Sharp as a badgers grin. And cold. When I'm at home I just like to wear underpants. Nothing else and I expect the same of you. They're getting a bit eggy now but still holding mostly together.
So come and say hello. I'll reply to the ones the voices tell me too. Good luck you perverts!
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