This event took place in 2017 when I was 33 years old. I was working full-time as a professor at a local university and part-time at a fine dining establishment. As part of my interview for the professor position in 2016, I met the President of the University and we had an entire conversation about how we both hold the same degree, but from sister universities. I had other brief interactions with him on campus between being hired and the following incident. (This is relevant, I promise.)

It's a busy Saturday night and I go to greet a newly sat 4 top. I immediately recognize the President of the University and his wife at the table. They're seated with a couple that I do not recognize. He does not acknowledge that he knows me, and I decide not to say anything that would indicate otherwise, since this is a fine-dining establishment, so customer experience is very important.

I'm at the table uncorking a bottle of wine when things begin to go sideways.

"Do you like your job?" he asks. I tell him I do and he continues, "I'm sure it's a great job for a gap year between high school and college. Have you considered going to college, though? I'm the President of [name of university] and I'd be thrilled to put you in touch with someone who could help you enroll if you're interested."

I tell him, "No, thank you."

At this point, the bottle is uncorked and I have poured a small amount in his glass for him to taste. He approves and I start to pour the wine for the table.

"We have quite a lot of programs at [university name], so I'm sure there's something you'd enjoy studying."

I don't know why, but this irks me. His condescension is frustrating and the fact that he has doubled down is insulting.

"Dr. [name]," I begin, his eyes widening as I say his name, "I don't know what I would possibly do with another college degree since I already have four of them, one of which is the same terminal degree that you hold."

"You know me?"

"Yes, we have talked at length about our PhD in [field of study] and how we got them from universities that consider themselves sister schools."

He looks at me confused. I've now poured all of the wine and his wife and the other couple are staring at me, too.

I sigh. "I work for you at [university name] where I teach [field of study] full-time in the [department name] as an assistant professor."

Comprehension blooms across his face, his cheeks turning red.

The gentleman across the table from him tries to salvage the situation, "You just look so young. I could have made the same mistake."

I smile at him and thank him. I do not say anything else.

The President says, "Well, if you're working full-time teaching at [university name], why are you serving here?"

His wife looks absolutely appalled at his question.

"Student loans are no joke, sir," I tell him, "and you know how much an assistant professor in [department] makes."

His wife stutters an apology to me as everyone else shifts uncomfortably in their seats.

"But yes, I do like my job. This job. And my job teaching at [university name]," I smile and wonder if he's ever put his foot in his mouth like this before, "In order to make things more comfortable for you folks, I am going to ask [co-worker's name] to take over your table for the remainder of your evening. He's fabulous and will ensure that you have a wonderful dining experience. Have a great evening."

His wife mouthed thank you to me and I walked away to get my co-worker.

​

Every time I saw him on campus after that, he would nod his head and hurry away from me. This year, I will be 40 and I am still being mistaken for being in my young 20s. I think I would not have been upset if it had simply been an issue of misidentifying my age, but his thinly veiled suggestion that service workers are uneducated kids really bothered me. Anyway, that's it. That's the story.