A desire so profound it leaves me feeling paralyzed. The fear of never being able to fulfill that desire looms large, casting a shadow over my every move. I’m beginning to question if I've settled, if I've chosen a path that leads to a life of compromise rather than fulfillment. As a "people pleaser," the dilemma is even more pronounced—how do I prioritize my own happiness without sacrificing the happiness of those around me? The struggle to find a balance between meeting others' expectations and staying true to my own desires has me feeling insurmountable.
I crave it so intensely and profoundly that it’s consuming my thoughts. I find myself constantly fantasizing about it, daydreaming of a love that is dark, twisted, and all-encompassing. I’ve been reading books, even watching what movies, and TV shows I can find, that explore such relationships, hoping to find a glimpse of that raw, unbridled passion. Yet, nothing seems to satisfy that hunger, leaving me feeling restless and unsatisfied.
The question of what to do next is weighing heavily on my mind. It's a longing that cannot be ignored, a craving that demands to be satiated, but the path to fulfillment remains elusive.
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