How is your life going? Is it chaotic? Tough? Absolutely hilarious? Dark af? Filled with sarcasm? I'd love to hear about it (once we connect)

A little about me (this is going to be a bit long):

I'm looking for someone (FWB) to have some online fun with AND be a friend with. I am neither a seller nor a buyer and can verify.

I have observed that I like normal sfw chats and a dirty picture or a line from time to time. A dirty or sfw compliment (giving and receiving) something to make both of us smile as we proceed with our respective lives.

Bonus if we share a few similar interests which we can discuss. Not into role play much and we don't need to text everyday to "stay in touch". We'll be in touch if we're both interested and can carry a conversation and reciprocate efforts.

Also, huge bonus if you are older (MUCH MUCH older) and have a "mature" mind.

Since I'm a working professional and got a fairly busy life out of work too, please do not expect immediate responses but rest assured, you will be answered to if we begin and maintain a conversation.

Alright, now that we are done with the formalities, a few other truths about me (that I have discovered recently). Might limit my audience but let's see anyways:

1. If I really like you, I tend to get a bit jealous of your previous/current partner(s). I'm well aware it's ironic of my situation here too but I'm a work in progress (as we all are). Taking it one day at a time.

2. I'm an extrovert. I'm a very confident person normally. I hate small talk...especially the "how are you"s and "how is your day going"s.

3. If you happen to work in a similar line as me, let's REALLY connect to bitch about excel and laugh at the daily shit that is thrown at us in our life. Applies to people not sharing a similar work profile too!

4. When you do reach out to me, make sure you do not have a blank or minimalist profile. Instant "no". Unless your message is intriguing.

5. I naturally have a naughty or perverted mind. Even sometimes when we talk sfw. For example: if you are a guy with a pet cat, I'd say you got a nice pussy and I'd love to play with it. I like to make you blush but of course, I won't cross any boundaries. If I do, I hope you will let me know.

6. In your first message, please describe yourself physically (a pic would be a plus) apart from your general openers.

If interested, HMU.