Hi! I (20f) brought up my attraction to older men with my therapist in our last session, and her answer was really off putting to me. She basically said that older men only look for younger women because they can be taken advantage of because of an "experience gap" and that it's not something a woman my age can consent to or understand.

But part of what attracts me is the experience gap. I actually idealize a situation with someone who's kind and loving with me but also knows what they're doing in life and does things like set expectations for my behavior, etc. Like... a husband who's my lover, but also a strict mentor.

So I brought that up with my therapist without the "strict mentor" language. I said something about finding it attractive to think someone might be able to guide me in life and know what makes them happy, and she essentially said, "No man really finds that attractive. Submissiveness is only attractive to predators and you need to grow in confidence and you'll understand when you gain confidence." But again... I'm a confident person. I just know that there's a lot I don't know and I personally think there's more danger in trying to make a life with a guy my age who hasn't really figured out who he is.

Anyway. I'm kind of rambling (sorry). And the question I'm trying to get to is, do you think there's any merit to what my therapist told me? I'm not really shaken in my beliefs because I know what's attractive to me, but she ended our session with, "all my colleagues would agree with me," and that's been bothering me. What do you think?