I don't know if this is the right place to post this but I felt like my screamed whispers would resonate best here. I'm in my late 30s. Not quite in the age demographics of the "young" women here. However, saying that - I've always been attracted to older men. Older, being 10-15 years older than me. There's a certain quality, an elegance, a calmness that I've always craved. I always hoped it would rub off on me, that I too may find peace, a security that would bring balance to the chaos in my world. I'm married to someone a few years older than me. He feels like a peer, and while that works in some aspects of life - in general, I feel like I'm constantly playing the mature, rational and understanding role. I often wish for someone to lean on, someone who'd be able to steer the ship ever so often, someone who would want to take care of me. I've always been so independent, and I've just been hoping for a break, for a moment of respite. But perhaps, that isn't for me.  As a 30 , I can't help but feel that ship has sailed. I'm sorry for being a bit of a Debbie Downer - I just had to get this off my chest. Yet another secret whispered into the internet. Thank you for reading. :)