It was 2009. You responded to my post on Craigslist, you wanted to be raped. Your proposal was absurd and unlike anything I had done before. After agreeing to rape you, you gave me all of your personal information. Name, address, place of employment. The make, model, and licence plate number of your car. You sent pictures including your face. Most importantly, you gave me consent to rape you at any time of my chosing. You encouraged me to stalk you, track you, and grab you when I felt it was time.

I stalked you for months. Waited for you to return from work. I followed you to the grocery. Passed you in the dairy aisle. Followed you to the Hoffbrau House in Newport. Sat next to you at the bar as you overdrank with your friends. Lingered around the entrance to you condo in Covington on Greenup Street.

I taunted you over yahoo messenger. Sent you pictures of yourself in public. Commented on the blue blouse you had worn that day. Described in detail how I would abduct you from your parking lot, cut your clothes off, and violently force my way into all three of your holes.

You became a part of my life. I would lie to my wife and tell her I was working overtime. Really, I drove to a side street near your condo from which I could spy as you come and went. Often, there was no trace of. But occasionally, there you were. It was electric. Mostly alone. You'd get out of your car and slowly spin in a 360. You stared right at me a few times but you had no way of seeing me. I think you felt me. You would walk slowly to the door. Take way too long at the mail. You were waiting for me. Begging for it.

The day came. You worked third shift at Children's and I knew when you would get home. I was waiting for you. I had my rape gear with me, and as you opened your car door, I pulled the hood over my head and gunned my car forward boxing you in. You were mine. I was going to own your body, your mind, your soul.... Then the fucking cop.

I don't know if he was simply driving by, or maybe a neighbor had witnessed and reported a suspicious car in the parking lot, but whatever the reason for his presence, I had to abort. I pulled the hood off my head and sped out of your lot. I looked back in the mirror. Your head was cocked to one side. You looked from my car to the cop's car as he slowly crept past your car.

That was the last time I saw you.

Life and a family tragedy caught up to me. I stopped the rape roleplay for years. Even forgot about it for a long time. But I've thought about you countless times. About your body and what I would've done to it. About the fear and anticipation you must have felt everytime you were exposed in public.

You are the one that got away. It is a huge regret. One I would love to rectify.