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Why do i keep lying to myself?
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Malapit na ang board exam ko ilang months na lang. Yung mga tropa/batchmates ko nagrereview na (as in seryosohan) while there’s me doing nothing pero pag tinatanong nila ako kung nag rereview na ako ang sinasabi ko na lang “onti” but in reality wala pa talaga.

Ewan ko ba plinano ko naman ng maayos kung paano ako magaaral nagsulat pa ako ng mga motivational bullshit sa pader ko. Hanggang ngayon nag papanggap pa din ako, akala ng mga magulang ko nagrereview ako kasi palagi ako nasa kwarto pero ang totoo nakahiga lang ako at nanonood ng random useless videos etc.

Ang nakakahiya pa nanghiram pa ako ng notes/books lahat ng need for review pero i guess sa una lang talaga ako magaling hehe and also everyone i know is rooting for me kasi pinagkakalat ko na magrereview na ako for boards hahaha jusq bakit ba ako ganito niloloko ko na lahat ng tao lalo na ang sarili ko.

Pero first of all ayoko tong pinasok ko. I fucking hate studying. I hate this field. I never learned to love it. Oo naka survive at nakagraduate ako at hindi ko alam kung paano kasi nangongopya lang naman ako nung college LOL

Wala lang, wala akong mapagkwetuhan neto. I have never felt so ashamed of my self.

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2 years ago