1 year and so in this situationship, in the middle. I asked thrice to define the relationship, pareho lang sagot sakin. Di pa daw siya ready, and ayaw din niya sabihin sakin at baka in the middle magbago daw isip niya at di na daw pala niya gusto.

I feel like shit. tatlong beses ko sinaktan sarili ko by asking her, and yet andito pa rin ako, we're still talking, I'm still around we still do the things we do. I tried to leave nung 2nd time that I asked, kasi di ko kaya ang sakit pero after 2 weeks nag message ulit at dahil pokmaru ayun back to regular programming. Pero kaya ako bumalik, I asked the universe for a sign and to help me move on from her or if I should stay tapos the next day ayan na yung Hi niya.

So I thought, baka ito na nga hahaha. Then recently, I asked ulit and still the same answer, sakit ulit. I asked her why'd she messaged me when I said that I'm going to leave, she just said she don't know. Now, I assumed baka bored lang siya which made me sadder.

When she talks about her exes, and yung isang ex na kinakausap pa rin siya, and the other ex na she's really comfy with the only one that made her feel at ease, and the other ex that she did wild things with. I can't help but be jealous. It's not a good feeling I know, I can't control myself I'm sorry. I'm jealous she took a chance with them, I'm jealous that she let them love her, I'm jealous that she loved them.

I saw photos of her exes and her posts with them, I saw her corny cute poems, I saw her bake cupcakes , I saw her quote some lines from a book she was reading and tagged them, I saw the places they went to. I wonder what it felt like to be loved by her. I wonder what it felt like to hold her hand knowing that she's with you.

Pero, iniisip ko I'm like the guy from 500 days of summer, sinabi naman niya sakin na di siya ready pero ang kulit ko. But why did she came back though and why are we doings things that we're doing. I know I can leave ulit pero ang hirap, sobra.