I've met her while playing an online game, she's pretty loud in the chat rooms, loud, wild and aggressive, and I was attracted she gives me the vibe that she'll rip my head off if I made one wrong move and I love that. It's crazy but I got obsessed.

We talked a lot, until we both realized that we used to be batch mates in the office, although she no longer work here I discovered she recently resigned. And we played guessing games, on who she was, she doesn't want to tell me who she is, but I told her who I was lol, life is unfair my friends, life is unfair. And I don't even know the whole 500 employees, but most of them know me because I'm one of the pabida kids, joined a lot of internal clubs and activities hahaha so it's easier to ask around. I asked around who she was, just using her description, atleast the personality that I observed during game time and chat rooms and some little details I got from our chats. Until after a month I finally got the right match. I just need a confirmation from her, in which ofcourse she will never confirm.

We're strangers in the office, I don't even notice her, she's not usually the woman that I go gaga and loco on, but I was amazed how small the world is.

After some time, I got more attracted and attached to her, she tells me things like what she did and what's going on in her crazy mind. Yes crazy, and she drives me crazy as well.

Then it came a time where she was down with her current job and stressed out so bad, that she wanted to have a drink in BGC. She called me, and asked if what time I'll be done with work and asked me if we could meet. I can't tell you enough how enthusiastic and how thrilling it felt after that call.

I went to BGC after work, saw her, then laughed at her face. I told her I knew it, I was right! she laughed as well and told me that even if I got the answer correctly she wouldn't say. She commend my investigative and observation skills, but also pointed out that it took me a month to finally figure it out, so I'm no Holmes. But in my defense, 500 employees, night shift and day shift duh that will take awhile.

We ate , drank and she talked about her stressful work and her stressful life at home. Now I fully understand why she's loud, wild and aggressive online. She was using it as an outlet.

The next weeks, we've started to be partners in the game, she usually messages me on lunch breaks if I'm available to play, and I just deal with all the bombard messages she sends in the chat rooms and our team's chat rooms hahahah, to the point that our leader and some of the officers asked if we were dating, and we both answered no. She clearly said I'm not her type, and I also said the same but I said I find her attractive and I'm obsessed 🤣. so the jokes and the puns came in, in every chat room and every platform telegram and discord.

We continued on, we went out sometimes, video calls while we're both working, videocall when she can't get to sleep and ofcourse playing games.

Then December came, company's year end party. I invited her to it, she wanted to but she has work and the crazy potato that I am went to fetch her and sneaked her out. My team mates didn't know that I fetched someone, they just thought I was doing something that's why I didn't arrived in time.

I brought her to the company's year end party, most of the people, colleagues were shookt they didn't know that we know each other. And the night went on, she enjoyed mingling with her old team mates , saw her laughing a lot, and she told me she had a good time.

After that, we still go out then a day suddenly came when she said she met someone and she liked him a lot, and they started going out. I was shaken but it's all cool. I was happy for her. So she tells me what they did, the dates the things she wanted to do to him, yes mapanakit ako ng sarili ko ewan ko ba. Then I told her that I'm also seeing people, then she got mad. I was stunned but I let it go, I still continue swiping on that app and talking to people in bars, elevator and basically anywhere.

Our video calls and hangouts lessen but we still message each other every week.

Then I learned that the guy she's seeing was married. The first thing came to my mind was that guy is a fcking douche. I told her that I'm not a fan of what she's doing and I have no plans on getting myself involved further. I get it, the man was hot and rich and has everything I don't have, that's why she went gaga and loco on him. But I'm still not a fan.

She stopped messaging me and calling me, she left our team in the game, when I told her that his boyfriend messaged me. I learned that he was jealous and other sht.

after a month of no contact, I deleted her telegram messages, discord and unfriended her in the game.

Then a few months somebody messaged me on telegram, an angry message, asking why I deleted all the messages and can't contact me at all. I was confused and asked who it is, then poof it was her. I explained that, I thought she no longer want to talk since the incident, and I don't want to think about her anymore that's why I deleted everything for me to carry on with my life.

She gave me the news that the wife found out, and now she and the guy had broken up. She wanted to talk more, and so I just let her talk more, I feel like she needed a friend. although during that time my mind was wandering off thinking "wala ba siyang ibang pren? at bakit ako nilapitan nito? at pano niya nalaman number ko lol"

she's back in my life again, but I declined every hangout offer she makes. I just listened to her and talk to her, I also rejected the video calls in which sometimes she gets mad and I just laugh it off. Until, I couldn't help myself and finally told her, I'm confused and I don't want to continue what's going on. She still got mad when I told her I'm seeing other people. Then it seems like she's not taking it well, I cut her off after saying bye. Deleted everything again.

And now, 2020, a common friend told me today, that she asked about me early this year and also in my birthmonth and then just recently today. She wanted to know how I'm doing.

Honestly, I wanted to say hi again, but part of me also says no. I'm a little confused and shaken, but yes she is my Excess baggage.