i feel like this is the last straw. feel ko parang hindi na nakapagpahinga utak ko. everything's confounding.

i've been trying to convince myself na maging okay. na wag nalang damdamin lahat. to let it all pass. pero feel ko sasabog na ako. sumasabay sabay lahat, and nakakasira ng utak. i just wanna 0verdose or do my old coping mechanisms. it really feels like theyre going back.

sana wala nalang akong nararamdaman. naiinggit ako sa ibang tao na para bang normal sa kanila ang mga bagay bagay. feel ko amplified lahat ng nararamdaman ko. and i wish i could turn it off. i just wanna detach, everything and everyone is just disappointing. im so exhausted. i cant give anything of myself anymore. ako naman sana.

im having a hard time with myself lately. i feel dissociated most of the time. i dont feel present in my body. it's like im watching life happen to me. im tired. i just wanna hurt myself.