Wala, feel ko lang ang hirap ko mahalin. No and this is not just about my physical appearance- well of course it plays a huge factor but I don't think it's just that.

Sa sobrang dami kong mental health issues, feel ko ang hirap hirap hirap kong mahalin. Hindi ko gets minsan why my family loves me despite all that. Oo may 'di kami pagkakasundo, nagsisigawan kami at some point pero hindi nagtatagal yung mga 'yun eh. Inaalagaan ako ng family ko and relatives ko and I don't feel like I deserve these things lalo na ang dami kong personality and cognitive issues.

Feel ko sobra sobra yung pagmamahal nila na feel ko underwhelming akong kasama. 'Pag nagbibigay sila ng baon, thank you lang ako and smile. Hirap ako tumulong sa gawaing bahay and minsan nagiging pabigat na ako pero 'di naman nila sinusumbat saken. Focus lang daw ako sa pagaaral kasi nakikita naman daw nilang pinaghihirapan ko lahat pero di ko kasi feel na narereciprocate ko yung... amount na dapat kong ireciprocate? 'Di ko siya maword pero gano'n yung feeling.

Minsan 'di ko alam kung paano nila nagagawa akong mahalin kahit na ang dami kong issues- I mean me not staying in a relationship and me having a lot of issues with my past friends are some telltale signs na may mali naman talaga sa'kin pero mahal pa rin ako ng family and relatives ko and sometimes if not often I feel so so guilty kasi 'di ko mabalik yung pagmamahal na kaya nilang ibigay at binibigay nila sa'kin.