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Overwhelmed but still wants to stay optimistic
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Meron talagang mga araw na sobrang bigat ng lahat. Whenever people ask me β€œ hey are you okay?” Lagi ko na lang sinasabi β€œ Yes! I’m okay.” Kakapagod na din kase mag kwento or magshare tapos hindi naman pala genuine yung concern ng tao, gusto lang nila ng tsismis. Gusto lang nila ma feel good sa sarili nila na mas okay sila keysa sayo.

Kaya minsan nakakamiss magkaBF/GF kase anjan sila to listen to you..sa mga rant mo sa buhay and shit. When you find the right person you will feel so loved. I’ve been single for so long na hindi ko na alam paano pa mag build ng relationship. Pero idk meron mga araw na thankful ako na wala akong jowa kase walang stress, walang dagdag gastos ( kase walang dates) and pwede ako matulog during rest days.

So ayun nga so today.. I can feel na I wanted to cry na parang all the heaviness of everything is too much that I can’t pretend to smile anymore. Parang napatanong ako sa sarili ko if okay pa ba ako.

Pero since single ako and ayaw ko abalahin mga kaibigan ko nung nag cr ako kanina at napa tingin ako sa salamin sabi ko β€œ good job! Kaya mo pa yan!”

Dami ko sinabi I don’t know if it make sense. I think even on my worst days wherein I think about dying mejo mas okay today. Mas madali ko nakalma sarili ko na meron pang mga ibang araw, mahirap man today, malungkot man ako today pero baka bukas mas okay.

Walang guarantee if magiging masaya or mas okay tomorrow pero the fact na meron pang possibility gave me a little bit of optimism.

Thank you for reading!

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1 month ago